One thought provoking the next, my mind can not help but get carried away and think of every possible scenario and resolve for everything happening in my life at the moment. This is what happens when i am left alone with nothing to do, unfortunately there are productive things i could be doing but my financial spiral in the downwards direction is in no state of good but I am adamant that my God will pull through for me, just not in my timing, which is sometimes not easy especially when trying to maintain hope and faith. Or maybe i am in need of a fresh revelation of both of those things and this is why I am finding it such an incredible task to have both. In this moment i know i am not meant to be conjuring up an answer for every one of lifes problems because Jesus knows, therefore i should not worry but praise him for what he has done, is doing and is going to do.
So do not worry, saying, What shall we eat? or What shall we drink? or What shall we wear? For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as wellI am feeling so stretched in every sense of the word right now but I am not going to ponder the negatives anymore, i just can't. It is certainly not getting me anywhere and it's being stubborn to the fact that it was time, a long time ago, to let God have full control. I don't know where my heads at or why handing over control is such a hard case to crack but I've decided today in my heart of hearts i am going to my best to give it the best crack I can.
I am asking God today for a fresh revelation of faith, hope and trust as well. All these things i struggle with i know God has an answer for me. I just hope that while my vision is all a bit hazy that he would make it as clear as day to me.