March 26, 2010



As i sit in my living room and the sun is setting outside i find myself pondering all that is happening inside this little heart of mine. Emotion. I am finding out that I, in this present time am feeling a whole lot of different feelings, all of which oppose each other to some degree or another.

Love has been a common theme that surrounds me lately and its coming at me from all angles. Its something that all people construe differently depending on what they associate the word LOVE with. What i thought was love has been transposed and i now know love more truthfully than i ever have before. I have not found love in a person, rather i have found more of the love of Jesus. I had a really powerful encounter with him 5 days ago and it hasn't been all roses since then, but He gave me such a feeling of love and warmth and tenderness that I'd never experienced before. No man in the natural could ever make me feel that way, it was something so intimate and beautiful, between me and the lover of my soul who knows me so well.

God is restoring to me the love i have been looking for for so long. Its something every person seeks out and often seeks it out in the wrong places. We each have a journey that we are all traveling and its a personal thing. We all make mistakes every now and then and its how we learn from them that will propel us forward or hold us back. In every choice i have ever made i have learned something. I am now on a journey of finding out what love really and truly is. I want revelation every single day of Gods unending love for me. People may fail me but Gods love never fails and that is his promise to me and you. Its a promise that will never change and will always remain.

Leeland couldn't put my life into lyrics any better:

"When the storm is raging all around me you are the peace that calms my troubled sea and when the cares of this world darken my day you are the light that shines and shows me the way.Oh, the beauty of your majesty on the cross you showed your love for me. Beautiful Lord awesome and mighty, i'm captured by this love I see. Beautiful Lord, tender and holy, your mercy brings me to my knees, it's your mercy that has made me free. When my sin is all that I can see your grace remains the shelter that I seek and when my weakness is all I can give your gentle spirit gives me strength again and oh, the beauty of your majesty on the cross, you showed your love for me. And I am lifted by your love to sing, it's your mercy that has made me free, you're beautiful, my lord.
We were never worthy of this love, but Jesus died so we would know love in its entire truth. There is nothing more beautiful than that gift and i want to be forever grateful that he loved me enough to give his life, i want to be constantly reminded of the cross.

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