More Precious Than Rubies

To bring you glory

2010-12-07T15:53:00.000-08:00


You O Lord I know are all I need
To You I give all of me
Finding you in love my soul will sing
To you I give the glory
The universe declares your majesty
Lord of all the heavens reign in us          
See you lifted up over all our lives
Hear our praises rise to you beautiful God
See your kingdom come, your will be done
As your glory fills the earth glorious one

Letting go of all I thought I knew
I hold on now to only You
Leaving fear I run into your hope
And stand upon one Faith And Love
No other name is greater, no other name is higher
There’s no other name but the author of salvation
His name is Jesus

Setbacks

2010-12-07T07:38:00.001-08:00

Who wants them. No one. The truth is there is an enemy who is as real as ever, and he wants me. He wants to discourage me and he knows the things that are closest to my heart. In the past 24 hours two things I love the most have been attacked.

One thing i know and am so very sure is that my God is greater than him. That the enemy has no power or control over me or my mind. That the enemy is under my feet and that I am free. That death has been defeated by love and God overcame this long before it even came to be.

Praying for Gods direction and protection as i continue on this journey he has set out for me and praying for conviction when I am not living life upright, and affirmation when I do the things that please Gods heart.

Thankyou Jesus for your discipline and for my heart revelation. I sense you close and love your gentle spirit.

x

Beauty.

2010-12-07T07:36:00.001-08:00

Hammock - Breathturn from David Altobelli on Vimeo.

Heart.

2010-12-06T21:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it hard to say how you honestly feel to someone. Sometimes it takes courage. You don't want to over share or push them in the opposite direction. Today i found courage and put pen to paper, to remind someone of their worth and how much they mean to me. Its in the little things, if you search hard enough, that you find the greatest things. I feel so humbled as i write to him. An old friendship rekindled on some unexpected terms has been one of the most incredible things that has happened in my life this year. You can so easily forget about someone until you see them again.

We get so caught up in our own worlds we don't see what is happening underneath the face of another. Late night turns into early morning as we sit and aimlessly discuss life, direction, our past and our future, faith, hope and love. It is in the exchange of words and heart and the rebuilding of this beautiful friendship that i am finding this persons story. A story that has stirred up the deepest desires of my heart, reminded me that God is faithful, and has caused me to see the world in a different light. I never thought my life would be changed whilst being commissioned to change anothers.

The father heart of God is so beautiful. It has taught me to love, reminds me to forgive and is faithful in all things. I want to share that heart for the rest of my numbered days here on this earth. There is an urgency in my spirit and a passion burning in the bottom of my belly. Patience I am learning, and also trust. Gods timing is perfect and I must remember that when i feel discouraged.

It is in this daily devotion that I am being challenged to reflect Jesus and be light in a world full of darkness.

x

.

2010-12-06T21:32:00.000-08:00

find beauty in all things,
find hope in new things

There is a sound.

2010-12-06T05:50:00.000-08:00

sometimes ever so subtly beating in the back of my mind. It is faithful, it is always so full of desire. It is there when we gather with people but it does not stay only in our gatherings and memories, it was there in the building of relationship, making room for conversations that will pull walls down. It beats strong in the risk as we take chances together, having faith for better things. It is there as we fight for friends and strangers who need a true hope, it is there as we open our arms and our homes. I hear it beat in the awkwardness of stepping out of ourselves to make someone else feel loved, I feel its power in the small things that will influence more than we realize. Skipping in perfect time with the record that we lay listening to in comfortable silence, it waits in possibilities as we dream aloud together. In our small communities over shared food and ideas, it moves through our families as we joins hands in grace before a meal, it is in the voice of a friend who quietly shares with me a psalm that drowns out empty fears while another sings in naked honesty in a cry to his God for understanding. I hear it when i watch these kids as they're so full of soul, it will inevitably be poured out of them, the sound is overwhelming in the joy of spontaneous song and the exchange of stories between friends, both new and old. It is carried by this love that is too great to contain in the hearts that cant help but change things through the lives that will speak more of christ that our words ever could. This beating is underneath everything, this rhythm inside us all, it is His heart, His heart is for people, our heart is for God, this is our worship. Love is...

The sky is bright.

2010-12-06T05:10:00.000-08:00

The sky is bright, the clouds are low and im sitting here waiting for you and i find you in this waiting like i have so many times before like you are found in the early hours of the morning as we are gathered on the floor around the stereo listening to the sound of something true where you sit as we share food and old stories with new friends and consecutive nights of meals and wine and having nothing better to do i find you surrounding me in a crowd and the deafening sound of an honest voice is where you pace next to me as i walk away as the waves crash ever closer to my feet. I'm in this alone and we're in this together. A friend recently said to me in his absence from home "i am realizing how important all the insignificant moments are." i know this, how significant the weight is in the scrutinized moments of relationship. Monday afternoon doing nothing watching the sun set out the window, late Wednesday night with 10 friends, 1 tub of ice cream and a bag of plastic spoons, Friday in the front yard with new friends and no plans, afternoon naps on the front lawn, the many late night walks, early morning good nights, the shared food and homes, this unplanned community, the result of our need for each other and my need for YOU. We were not made to be alone, we were made to know and to be known, to share our stories and to love, sometimes it is easy, sometimes its a fight and so we stretch out our arms beyond our walls to the noise in the black and white to the gray of the storm where over thunder we whisper our song and in the dark we tread carefully. We stand on the edge of our hearts and all that we know and ask someone to come inside and, our small crowd, it increases over the warmth of a dimly lit meal and some living room dancing as the night hours end and the honest conversations begin, we are finding something we have lost and in the sharing of good music and food, in the noise of a band that we cant hear ourselves over, in the unspoken love for the people who carry us. YOU WIN

New Life.

2010-09-26T18:08:00.001-07:00

Choking, i made an ultimatum with the one who knows me inside out. Something significant had to happen and it had to happen last night. I couldn't wait another minute. I was dying and loosing my breath and all capability to believe i was where i needed to be. I have noticed a pattern that when God is wanting to bring breakthrough in my life he brings me to a point of utter desperation and here i was. Sitting discouraged, broken, desperate and in need in the last row at the back of the building last night it was as if everything around me was happening in slow motion. I took myself to the back because i needed to be able to concentrate. As the speaker was sharing what God had put on her heart it was like she was speaking straight to mine. I knew that it was God speaking to me and it was something i couldn't ignore. He was answering my prayer. For the past month i had been in the desert. Parched and dry, it felt like every prayer i had been praying was falling on deaf ears. Who was the enemy to think he had the right to whisper lies in my ears and why was i believing that what he said was even slightly true. As Stacey was speaking she was talking about addictions and fear and anxiety and all these things were prominent in my life and she asked for somebody with specific issues to step out of their chair. I felt like the only person in the room, i just knew that this was my encounter with Jesus and that this was my moment of breakthrough so i walked to the front and by this time there were a few people up there. She layed hands on me first and gave me a word and she told me to breath in the Holy Spirit. As she prayed for me, i was brought to my knees and in total surrender i promised God he could have every bit of me and my life. I knelt and sobbed and i took big deep breaths. In that moment it felt as though my spirit man had been given life again. I can only liken it to feeling like i was being choked and that what was choking me lost its grip and i could breath again for the first time. I have never felt the love of God more prominently in my life than i did last night. And i knew this time that it was true and pure and it sat so peacefully in the bottom of my belly. I consider myself beyond blessed that i have a Daddy in heaven that adores and loves me more than i could ever fathom. That he is bigger than me and all of my 'stuff' and that in him i have gained total freedom. There is no greater gift than the life of Jesus Christ. I pray now that the freedom God has given me i can share with others. God make me a beacon of light to those around me who don't know you. I am changed forever! With my eyes set on my King i know that i am not limited to confines of these four walls. This is what having a purpose feels like and it is the most refreshing/amazing thing in the world.

Stand Tall

2010-05-23T22:35:00.001-07:00

Maybe it's time for that stage in our lives
Let's be honest
And more than our pride is our need to survive
So let's choose this
And the hardest part of letting go
Is letting go of our control
To fall into place
Help me fall into place
Cause I'm just waiting

So go for the last place
Cause the last place will be the first
And let's change our stance
We'll stand taller now

The air in my lungs fills the voice of my heart
It sings of good things

So go for the last place
Cause the last place will be the first
And let's change our stance
We'll stand taller now

Go for the last place
Cause the last place will be the first
Let's change our stance
We'll stand taller now

Hold my hand and be my light, Jesus

2010-05-10T22:42:00.000-07:00

One thought provoking the next, my mind can not help but get carried away and think of every possible scenario and resolve for everything happening in my life at the moment. This is what happens when i am left alone with nothing to do, unfortunately there are productive things i could be doing but my financial spiral in the downwards direction is in no state of good but I am adamant that my God will pull through for me, just not in my timing, which is sometimes not easy especially when trying to maintain hope and faith. Or maybe i am in need of a fresh revelation of both of those things and this is why I am finding it such an incredible task to have both. In this moment i know i am not meant to be conjuring up an answer for every one of lifes problems because Jesus knows, therefore i should not worry but praise him for what he has done, is doing and is going to do.

So do not worry, saying, What shall we eat? or What shall we drink? or What shall we wear? For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well

I am feeling so stretched in every sense of the word right now but I am not going to ponder the negatives anymore, i just can't. It is certainly not getting me anywhere and it's being stubborn to the fact that it was time, a long time ago, to let God have full control. I don't know where my heads at or why handing over control is such a hard case to crack but I've decided today in my heart of hearts i am going to my best to give it the best crack I can.

I am asking God today for a fresh revelation of faith, hope and trust as well. All these things i struggle with i know God has an answer for me. I just hope that while my vision is all a bit hazy that he would make it as clear as day to me.

& In the wilderness, I know you are there.. somewhere

2010-05-09T23:19:00.000-07:00

Today is just the same as every other mundane day that has been my life for the past four weeks. Nothing seems to be getting any better but I have the tiniest little glimpse of fresh hope. In the midst of feeling all kinds of things and asking all sorts of questions, mainly rhetorical, that i feel as though i know the answers to already (i just struggle to have the faith and hope required) i just can't seem to pick myself up and get me out of what feels like a vicious circle of distrust, rejection and hopelessness. These feelings are not heavenly and i know that in this wilderness seasons of my life, God is surrounding me, even though nothing seems to feel that way, and is teaching me a lot about my life and my coping mechanisms and is taking me through a process of change. Like a garden, we all need weeding sometimes but whats the use if you don't pull the weeds from their roots, they just grow back. I know that God is delving as deep as the roots of all this hurt and rejection and hes clearing me out. Preparing me for greater things.

Then he said to me "prophesy to these bones and say to them, dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord "

Dry, yet i have the authority given to me by God to speak to this season of my life and it could turn around just like that, but that requires trust, faith and full submission of control to Jesus and that is the journey he's taking me on right now. Why is that such a battle for me, why do i struggle to give God all control. He is my heavenly daddy and doesn't go back on his word and never would. He knows me intimately and knows my heart and intentions. He knows my battle and wants to help me yet i stop him, even in my desperation. I just want my battle with doubt, fear and distrust to dissipate and leave me alone forever. If only it was as easy as clicking your fingers. Even in this valley i know that God is walking me through this for the greater good. That the victory story at the end of this is that my God is true to his word and does make ALL things work for good for those that love him. That it will be a testimony that would glorify God in fullness and in truth.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I just want God to meet me here, in the midst of all my stuff and take me as i am, in the state i am in and teach me, help me and give me peace so that i might just find some much needed rest. Heavenly rest. This battle is not for me to walk through alone. God wants to walk me through this, he wants to provide for me when I have nothing and he wants to remind me of his flawless love and strength, i just need to accept the help, break down my pride and submit every thing i am into Jesus hands. This is a choice i must make without reason if I want God to do the unimaginable.

Here goes nothing, I am hoping that I can trust enough and have the faith required so that rest and peace would be mine.

We're all in this together

2010-05-05T00:48:00.000-07:00

You know its not hard to see that there is this great imbalance and things aren't right. I know that but for me i suppose it really hits home if i stop and think about this moment, whats happening right now. In the same moment you have a generation sitting around entertaining themselves watching reality television which, to be honest, is anything but real, while you have a child that is being prostituted behind closed doors and robbed of their innocence, its not fair that we can go about consuming every single material option that comes our way while the widow and orphan are stripped of lifes basic dignities because their victims of a conflict that simply isn't theirs, its not fair that there's a generation that are choking on their obesity while at the same time there's 30,000 children that will die TODAY from lack of food. Its not fair the we have no problem going about spending 3 or 4 dollars on what is basically glorified tap water in a bottle with a fancy label while we there are entire communities that suffer at the hands of disease because the only water they have access to is foul and polluted, its not fair that we can sing and dance and jump around in our freedom and liberty while at the same time the slave remains captive, out of sight and out of mind, its not fair that we can sit and watch the evening news from the comfort of our home and pitty those who lived where the storm hit or where the ground shook or where the water rose and feel sorry for them and then simply change the channel then go and eat supper. Is it fair to walk past the homeless man and give him nothing in the assumption that he will spend it on booze or cigarettes or suggest that he should go out and get a job? Who are we to judge the alcoholic, the prostitute, the addict or the criminal as if were any better, who are we to forget the down trodden,the oppressed or the marginalized while we go about chasing the dream. We see this imbalance and think that's not right man and that's not fair but all to often its all we do because for us to do anymore is actually going to cost us something and if that's where it ends perhaps its fair to say that when we ignore the prostituted child that we actually lend our hand to their abuse that when we ignore the widow and the orphan in their distress that we actually add to their pain, that when we ignore the slave who remains captive that its us whose entrapping them, that when we forget the refugee that it is us that is displacing them, that when we choose to ignore and not to help the poor and the needy that is actually us robbing them, perhaps the only fair thing to say is when we forsake the lives of others we actually forsake our own.

This world is in a devastating state, the soul of a human being is in need of the exact same thing, it doesn't depend on culture, nationality, family or material things. The soul needs Gods love. The world needs Gods love. Those that are walking in the freedom and fullness of Gods love have been commissioned to first love God, and then to love people. This generation in the western culture we live in have become professionally selfish. Its time to die to self again and start living the way God had destined us to, and to appreciate what we do have and share it with those that lack. God has commissioned us to be his hands and feet, it was time a long time ago and we still sit around waiting for something drastic to happen. It wont unless we unite together and decide to change.

We're all in this together.

Spark hope.

2010-04-21T07:09:00.000-07:00

Tonight brought about much revelation and im so grateful to God. I know that God has given me a gift with people and its so fulfilling when he gives you the opportunity to put it to practice. Nothing about me wants to do anything but love these people. The unlovely, i want to love them, the confused ones, i want to love them, the lost, i want to love them too. Give me anyone Lord. I have so much love in this tiny little heart of mine and I know its not all for my keeping. To share it is my joy. I found myself with two of the most amazing young guys tonight and I see so much potential in both of them. It was cool being able to listen to what they were saying and how they were feeling and have the opportunity to share God with them and with any luck stirred up some of the hope that had been lost. Its times like these you just have to let God have his way. I am so excited for what the future holds both for these young guys and also for this nation. So many lost souls out there. Its time to rise to the occasion and be willing to get our hands dirty to see the kingdom come. Loving people should never be about our own gain, we should love regardless of whether we get anything out of it or not.

Your love is extravagant

2010-04-20T09:01:00.000-07:00

Your love is extravagant, your friendship is so intimate, i find im moving to the rhythms of your grace, your fragrance is intoxicating in that secret place. Spread wide in the arms of Christ is a love that covers sin, no greater love have i ever known, that you consider me your friends - capture my heart again x

Today

2010-04-19T21:21:00.000-07:00

I am stuck in bed with sore joints from coughing like a maniac. Its been a long time since I've rested. I am usually always on the go when im sick but i have been commissioned to rest. "I'm exhausted" screams my body. So today i am wrapped up under the warm covers with a good book and a hot drink. I don't like being confined to my bedroom, but something tells me this is a good place to be right now.

x

The vine and the branches

2010-04-19T20:32:00.000-07:00

¹"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ²He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. ³You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. ⁴Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
⁵"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. ⁸This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
⁹"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. ¹¹I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ¹²My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ¹³Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. ¹⁴You are my friends if you do what I command. ¹⁵I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. ¹⁶You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. ¹⁷This is my command: Love each other.

All i need to be is a good tree. In this time of testing i realize that so often when we are not at an emotional equilibrium and we aren't feeling all warm and fuzzy when we are trying to connect with God we blame the devil when sometimes God is just pruning. When you see a tree that has just been pruned it looks ugly, but once everything grows back it is beautiful and healthy and bears good fruit or flowers. God does this for us because he loves us! Not because he wants to inflict pain on us and not because he is not close. When in this season it will likely be uncomfortable and sometimes it will hurt. its like when a silversmith is refining silver, he puts the silver in the furnace and all the dross rises to the surface and he skims it away until he can see his reflection in it. So to does God do that for us. He brings all our stuff to the surface, all the ugly stuff, the sin and hurt and pain and he skims it off so he can see his reflection in us. I love that God loves me enough to do that for me.

Today i am grateful for this season and grateful for this revelation. My Daddy really loves me, he loves me enough to teach me and discipline me. He knows that when he does that i grow.

Thankful heart, please stay

x

Rebecca Louise

2010-04-18T17:36:00.000-07:00

Meet my best friend - she is a rare but very precious dime this one.

After spending the weekend together and having gone through everything we did this weekend i was glad to have gone through it with her! It provided much entertainment to say the least. What was going to be an innocent day at the coast with a heap of people ended in such an hilarious state. Note to selves - whilst driving on a highway do not attempt to pass personal items through windows of separate cars. There might be an undercover cop off duty traveling behind you. Long story short they all got stopped by the police and suffered a serious burning. With cars being towed and threats of being taken to court, driving other peoples car with the handbrake on and going down the highway at 110km when finally reaching the destination and realizing that's what the burning smell was, was how saturday ended hmmm.. not quite as planned but i learnt so much from Becks attitude towards the whole situation.

This girls heart is so beautiful. With a heart and life that is devoted to Jesus she is bound for greatness in every sense of the word. I learn so much from her and shes younger than me. I forget how young she is a lot of the time because her maturity is so beyond her years. All i can say is these past few months have been some of the most amazing months of my life being able to share them with her. The good the bad and the ugly. The laughs and treasured moments and the many more to come :)

Rebecca if so ever you stumble upon this post.. I love you so much. You are the ketchup to my fries.

x

Rain & Creativity

2010-04-15T19:30:00.000-07:00

Rain. There is something about rain that whispers to my all my creative senses "wake up from your sleep, sleepyheads". I guess its a good thing im at home today, i can have endless cups of tea and hit my craft box and make something exciting. The satisfaction of getting crafty is beyond describable, it makes me feel like a little kid again! Question is, what shall i make today? I feel for sewing but i also feel for folding, cutting, gluing etc. Perhaps its time to revamp my bedroom walls. They have been bare since being painted and the only thing that does reside is the tree on my feature wall which is made out of fairy lights. It was my substitute for a lamp and it is very pretty. I think i shall opt for the bedroom walls. Time to put up all my favourite quotes and bible verses somewhere where i can be reminded of them daily. I just need to rack my brain and think of a creative way of displaying them, blue tack just will not suffice. There has to be something lying around this house that i can pull apart and recreate to make it all my own. I have a mad obsession with bunting right now, perhaps i can write a quote on each triangle. We'll see, stay tuned for a pictorial blog of how my room ends up..

I love rainy days :)

And the greatest of these is love

2010-04-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

I have never walked on water, felt the waves beneath my feet but at your word lord i recieve, your faith to walk on oceans deep, and i remember how you found me, in that very same place all my failings surely would have drowned me, still you made a way. You are my freedom, jesus you're the reason im kneeling again at your throne, where would i be without you here in my life. You have said that all of heaven sings for joy at one who finds the way to freedom and finds the truth of jesus, bought from death into his life. And i remember how you saw me, through the eyes of your grace, and though the cost was your beloved for me still you made a way.

Retreat, exactly what i want to do. It has been a rough trot of recent with things going on in my world. It seems as though the enemy is tugging on every single one of my heartstrings and trying to turn the lights out, figuratively speaking and stability has not felt so distant in such a long time. I can only conclude that God is taking me through his refining fire. I can feel him close but at the same time being dilligent in the small things seems like such a struggle. I know in my heart that even in my circumstance it doesn't change that God is still God and it doesn't change who i am called to be and what i am called to do and that he's still on the throne in heaven, that he rules and is so much bigger than any circumstance i am facing. Thats such a humbling thing but even though i know all this i still find it hard to submit. All i know is i have been commissioned to worship and rejoice in all circumstances because my redemption and freedom was bought for me and even though this sometimes feels hard to do, or sometimes i don't feel like doing it, i know that in that moment God sees my heart and he sees my diligence and draws me closer to him in order to restore to me peace, joy and hope.

^{Philippians 4:4}Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Thankyou Jesus for all you have done and for taking captive my heart. I am in love with everything you are. I don't know it all and i often feel inadequate but I know you have commisioned me to worship you and serve you so i ask you'd teach me your ways. I cant do this life without you, without you im hopeless.

2010-04-11T18:27:00.001-07:00

In this strange tangle of love
I'm learning now to see
In this weird change of space
I"m learning to believe in this life
I'm living, I feel you helping me

If I were a monster
Would you wince
When you looked at me?
If I were a freak would you stare?
If I were a leper
Would you say unclean?
If I was lost,
Would you help me get free?

Time and space are closing in
And their turning me weak
You and me are making friends
Just learning howt o be
I learn from you and
You're watching me
This is the way to be

This is real, this is now
I don't wanna go, I hold on
You let go, will I ever know?

When I am a monster
You never wince
When you look at me
When I am a freak, you never stare
When I am a leper
You never say unclean
And when I am lost
You come and get me free

Are you read to live your life?
Are you healed enough?
Can you stop?
Can you stop and enjoy the ride?

happy

2010-04-06T21:21:00.001-07:00

It doesn't matter what you do I am constantly surprised and made happy. Your heart is beautiful and moves me to look at life through a different perspective.

Journey.

2010-03-26T00:11:00.000-07:00

Journey.

As i sit in my living room and the sun is setting outside i find myself pondering all that is happening inside this little heart of mine. Emotion. I am finding out that I, in this present time am feeling a whole lot of different feelings, all of which oppose each other to some degree or another.

Love has been a common theme that surrounds me lately and its coming at me from all angles. Its something that all people construe differently depending on what they associate the word LOVE with. What i thought was love has been transposed and i now know love more truthfully than i ever have before. I have not found love in a person, rather i have found more of the love of Jesus. I had a really powerful encounter with him 5 days ago and it hasn't been all roses since then, but He gave me such a feeling of love and warmth and tenderness that I'd never experienced before. No man in the natural could ever make me feel that way, it was something so intimate and beautiful, between me and the lover of my soul who knows me so well.

God is restoring to me the love i have been looking for for so long. Its something every person seeks out and often seeks it out in the wrong places. We each have a journey that we are all traveling and its a personal thing. We all make mistakes every now and then and its how we learn from them that will propel us forward or hold us back. In every choice i have ever made i have learned something. I am now on a journey of finding out what love really and truly is. I want revelation every single day of Gods unending love for me. People may fail me but Gods love never fails and that is his promise to me and you. Its a promise that will never change and will always remain.

Leeland couldn't put my life into lyrics any better:

"When the storm is raging all around me you are the peace that calms my troubled sea and when the cares of this world darken my day you are the light that shines and shows me the way.Oh, the beauty of your majesty on the cross you showed your love for me. Beautiful Lord awesome and mighty, i'm captured by this love I see. Beautiful Lord, tender and holy, your mercy brings me to my knees, it's your mercy that has made me free. When my sin is all that I can see your grace remains the shelter that I seek and when my weakness is all I can give your gentle spirit gives me strength again and oh, the beauty of your majesty on the cross, you showed your love for me. And I am lifted by your love to sing, it's your mercy that has made me free, you're beautiful, my lord.

We were never worthy of this love, but Jesus died so we would know love in its entire truth. There is nothing more beautiful than that gift and i want to be forever grateful that he loved me enough to give his life, i want to be constantly reminded of the cross.

Restoring Dreams

2010-03-22T02:32:00.001-07:00

What a weekend.

I know i'm a little bit slack on the post front but life is rather hectic at this point. Life has become one big juggling act. With college full time and two evenings left spare for me time blogging has been given a back seat. I started fresh on my blog not long ago as well so it all seems a little bit bare on here.

This weekend has changed my life forever. I know that's a bold statement, fairly out there but how things can change in a heartbeat.

God is forever blowing my mind and reminding me how huge he is. Even the biggest word is an understatement. We had the privilege of having Ps. Heidi Baker with us this weekend for a conference that ran over saturday and sunday. I have never seen church so packed in all my time being there. It was packed from front to back people had to sit on the ground.

At the beggining of the conference i was finding it extremely hard to break through and was getting frustrated that God didnt feel close, not even a whisper did i hear, and typically God has a sense of humor and hit me like a tonne of bricks right before the conference ended. Lets just say it was the turning over of a new leaf and the start of something completely amazing and brand new. God showed me exactly who i am and i feel on top of the world. My God is so good. He truly is indescribable. I had a word spoken over me and it was a long time coming, its one of those moments you pray for, for years and you just wonder when God will finally put it to rest. Fear in all parts was broken off my life last night and i have never felt so liberated. She also said that God was restoring all my dreams, right from when i was a little girl. Which in itself is so exciting. I sadly don't ever remember being a little girl. Probably because i chose for so long to forget about my past because it was tormenting. So i am excited to see the dreams God reignites. I know two things are for sure, God wants to use me in the area of Creative Industries, wether it be my love of Music, Graphic Design, Interiors & anything i can get my crafty hands on, God just wants me to use what is in my hands and i pray he will always show me what i can do. I pray every day that as i do my course that he would orchestrate my hands and that the work i produce would be all for his glory. I also know God has called me to be a revivalist! And I am SO excited to see God sweep through this nation! Every nation! God use me! I don't want no to be an option when i answer you! I was praying last night and god gave me the following scripture:

Ezekiel 47
¹THEN HE [my guide] brought me again to the door of the house [of the Lord--the temple], and behold, waters issued out from under the threshold of the temple toward the east, for the front of the temple was toward the east; and the waters came down from under, from the right side of the temple, on the south side of the altar.²Then he brought me out by way of the north gate and led me around outside to the outer gate by the way that faces east, and behold, waters were running out on the right side. ³And when the man went on eastward with the measuring line in his hand, he measured a thousand cubits, and he caused me to pass through the waters, waters that were ankle-deep.⁴Again he measured a thousand cubits and caused me to pass through the waters, waters that reached to the knees. Again he measured a thousand cubits and caused me to pass through the waters, waters that reached to the loins.⁵Afterward he measured a thousand, and it was a river that I could not pass through, for the waters had risen, waters to swim in, a river that could not be passed over or through.⁶And he said to me, Son of man, have you seen this? Then he led me and caused me to return to the bank of the river.⁷Now when I had returned, behold, on the bank of the river were very many trees on the one side and on the other.⁸Then he said to me, These waters pour out toward the eastern region and go down into the Arabah (the Jordan Valley) and on into the Dead Sea. And when they shall enter into the sea [the sea of putrid waters], the waters shall be healed and made fresh.⁹And wherever the double river shall go, every living creature which swarms shall live. And there shall be a very great number of fish, because these waters go there that [the waters of the sea] may be healed and made fresh; and everything shall live wherever the river goes.¹⁰The fishermen shall stand on [the banks of the Dead Sea]; from En-gedi even to En-eglaim shall be a place to spread nets; their fish shall be of very many kinds, as the fish of the Great or Mediterranean Sea.¹¹But its swamps and marshes will not become wholesome for animal life; they shall [as the river subsides] be left encrusted with salt and given over to it.¹²And on the banks of the river on both its sides, there shall grow all kinds of trees for food; their leaf shall not fade nor shall their fruit fail [to meet the demand]. Each tree shall bring forth new fruit every month, [these supernatural qualities being] because their waters came from out of the sanctuary. And their fruit shall be for food and their leaves for healing.

I'm just so desperate for more of the Holy Spirit to have his place in my heart. To make himself at home right inside of me. Have your way God. Its all or nothing from here on in.

x

you make everything better

2010-02-19T02:27:00.000-08:00

In a moment of sudden silence came too many thoughts at once. First thoughts of all things broken in my life, then came the overwhelming pain of guilt and as seconds went by it all changed in an instant. God showed me a beautiful picture.

I have been ready since 7 o'clock, its now 8.30pm and i am waiting for the confirmation text that its ok to leave and make my way to his house. In this waiting i found myself stumbled across a blog of another who is fighting for her life, a disease has taken over her thoughts, body and everything she is. In the midst of all her words i saw somebody who was broken, dying, confused yet still so deeply searching for exactly who she was. In her frustrations she was still crying out to God.

I felt so guilty, there is no other word that perfectly describes my emotion. I know that's what God wants from us, to cry out and seek him! I look at my life up until last week and i see the person I've been. So full of pride and full of bottled up hurts from so long ago, as long as i can remember. Its been those giants I've kept inside that have scared me away from handing them over to Him. Like just pretending they're not there was OK. I had a wake up call on Saturday night. It was fierce and it hurt like nothing else.

I have again had the same wake up call but in such a profound way. As i sit here in this atmosphere God has reached out to me. I listen to a song and its lyrics penetrate my soul, they go something like this - The more i seek you, the more i find you, the more i find you, the more i love you. I want to sit at your feet, drink from the cup in your hand, lay back against you and breath & feel your heart beat, this love is so deep, its more than i can stand, i melt in your peace its overwhelming.

I have just had a revelation of how much God loves to love me.

God wants to love on us, he wants to give us peace in these raging storms we so happen to stumble upon in this crazy thing called life, he desperately wants to show us who he is. I have come to learn that in this love, i begin to find out who i am, why i am here and also how pleasing God finds me. How much he wants all things good for me, how he has a plan and a purpose for me and that my future is bright. Its liberating.. Now to keep holding on even when it hurts, even when its a struggle and rely solely on the strength of my King, my father.. Jesus Christ

It can only get better from here.

Today

2010-02-02T19:56:00.000-08:00

Today i fly on a plane to sydney. As i begin to think about all scenarios i could be facing once i reach the airport my stomach gets knots and i feel nervous, only because im letting things from the past back in to my head. But as i speak to these "mountains" i can only feel the peace of God. There is something so beautiful about knowing God has got it under control.

More so my prayer today is that over the next few days God would reveal himself to me like never before. That when i wake up and i call His name, He is there and when i ask for more that He would penetrate deep into my being and wrap me up in all that He is.

I am so hungry and so thirsty for God. He is a loving God but he is also fierce & valiant!

Thankyou Jesus for a bigger understanding of who you are and a deeper revelation of who I am in Christ. I lay aside myself and ask that you would consume me today, that it would be less of me so there is more room for you!

Now to get ready to hop on the plane!

I will keep you all posted whilst im in sydney.

Love Em x

Let the light of your face shine down

2010-02-01T22:19:00.000-08:00

Oh Lord bless me and keep me, cause your face to shine on me, Lord be gracious with the light of your countenance & give me peace. For i live only to see your face, so shine on me. For i live only to see your face..

So let the light of your face shine down on my heart and let me feel it

I love you

Starting Fresh

2010-02-01T22:18:00.001-08:00

Hello,

Today i am starting fresh.

Follow my blog if you wish to.

Em x